CLAMP's Hamlet 1999
by Bob the Almighty
Summary: Hamlet and X... what more needs to be said? Please review!


CLAMP's Hamlet 1999

A Scary Idea From a CLAMP Fanatic

Disclaimer: Obviously I own none of the situations, objects, or people portrayed in this madness.

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In a way I blame myself for the tragedy of Prince Hamlet. Had I only said something, done something, to stop the events that destroyed everything; perhaps they would still be alive. If only I had never gone to see the ghost of the old King Hamlet. If only none of us had spoken of what we had seen; not I, nor Marcellus, nor even Bernardo. If only....

Horatio sighed and glared at the slightly glowing screen in front of him with a frown. "Curse this! That isn't what I meant to write."

"Automatic-writing again, I take it?" Hamlet's cheerful voice came from across the room where the older teen was playing Grand Turismo 2 on Horatio's Playstation. "Probably killing me off again too I bet."

"It's not like I _try_ to kill you off in all these stories," Horatio muttered, "It just... happens." He gave the computer screen yet another glare and proceded to delete the text he'd just typed in. 

It really wasn't fair. Every single time Horatio attempted to write a story he had to concentrate _extra_ hard on it. Otherwise he would start to write a completely different story, a story that had been trying to write itself for years now. "How am I ever going to gain a huge internet fan-following if the only stories I ever manage to finish are about _us_? It sucks."

Hamlet shrugged. "They _are_ good stories," he admitted. "Your relationships and stuff are cool, definitely twisted and, well, _weird_ enough to catch people's interest. Plus you've got that whole murder-maddness-revenge thing going. I like that, even though it's always _my_ character that ends up going off the deep end. The only thing I don't really like is the fact that you keep killing me off. That, and no one has any cool powers or abilities. Plus you never put in any good references."

Horatio glared at his best friend. "Like I said, I'm not _trying_ to kill you off. And I'd _like_ to give us cool powers and put in lots of references but.... Well, you know I don't have any control over what I write. If I did...."

His eyes took a far-off cast as he dreamily began to ramble: "I'd change the setting to modern times, and to _here_ in Tokyo rather then Denmark- since I've never even _been_ to that country before."

Hamlet blinked and paused his game to listen. This was starting to sound interesting. Different certainly. After a thoughtful pause Horatio continuued.

"I'd give _everyone_ cool powers and there'd be epic and grandois battles all over the place. Lots of tragic deaths and property damage too. Oh! And I'd make it our _destiny_ to be fighting- put in an End of the World prophesy and everything. You'd still be suicidal and angsty though- cuz that's what fangirls like- but maybe it'd be for a good reason this time. Like your love interest- Ophelia-chan- being killed right in front of you and Laertes turning evil and deciding it's his _destiny_ to kill you and destroy the world. Cool huh? And you won't be crazy just really, really, depressed."

Hamlet was openly stareing at him now, mouth hanging open and violet eyes wide with shock and awe. Horatio was oblivious to this though, barely pausing for breath before forging bravely on.

"Oh! And the bad guys, Laertes and several other people, would be trying to destroy all of Tokyo's kekkai for some reason while you and us good guys tried to stop them. And the _last_ kekkai- Tokyo Tower- would be where we'd have the final battle. Except this time if you loose then the world ends. But you won't loose cuz you've got this nifty shinken sword and the world depending on you!"

Horatio stopped talking and gazed off into the distance for a moment. Hamlet continued to stare blankly at him, completely unsure whether or not he liked his friend's 'improvements' on the story. "So... you basically still want to kill everyone off but just make everything more dramatic and angsty...?"

Horatio nodded happily. "Yup. Of course I'd change all our names too so no one knows its us. Maybe I could even sell the story to a famous manga-ka. CLAMP maybe- they like this type of story."

Hamlet smiled and nodded. It was time to get out of here now; before Horatio got any _more_ ideas. "Er... Okay... you do that. I'm sure the CLAMP girls would love yor story.... I think I'm gonna go home now. Have to make sure mom isn't dating my uncle and all that... Bye!" 

Horatio waved at his fleeing friend and turned back to his computer, ready to make the changes he'd described and hoping it'd work this time.

End.

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